Tuesday, December 31, 2013

The Rooms of Our Lives - Happy New Year 2014!


“We spend January 1st walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives...not looking for flaws, but for potential.”  
 ― Ellen Goodman




This quote from Ellen Goodman reminds me of Norman Vincent Peale's quote, "Change your thoughts, change your world." The power of positive thinking…it's a message that resonates this year. I'd like 2014 to be the year that I flip the switch from focusing on my own demerits and start noticing the positivity that others see, and look for the potential of each situation. Like many women I know, there's a tape that plays in my mind constantly about how to do better, how to be better, how to get more from every day. I wake up every morning feeling already behind the 8-ball, and go to bed every night hyper-aware of all the things I didn't accomplish or could have done better. I've heard this referred to as "negative self-talk" which, in psych speak, means we don't treat ourselves as well as we treat others. Sometimes, I have to have that inner chat and say "Be as nice to yourself as you are to your friends." 

When one of my daughters was in a particularly difficult teen-age phase, she'd make a statement about something that distressed her. The statement, expressing a situation, would be oozing in negativity. I would say "Think of a way to say the same thing, but with positivity." It wasn't always possible, but it was a conscious effort to look at the world with different eyes, to lift the emotion of the situation up and rid it of troubling energy. I don't even know if she remembers those little exercises (sometimes futile, sometimes not) but I do, and they were lessons for me as well.

So, I don't plan to enter 2014 obsessing about all the things I do wrong, the "cracks to be patched" with the intention to make them right. The cracks are there -- I make mistakes all the time and have learned and earned some of life's most valuable lessons in doing so. Without those cracks, I might never have come to realize that there is nothing, nothing more meaningful than family and cherished friends, especially when times are tough and I don't do it right, when I neglect these relationships because I am too busy or too tired or just don't feel like it at the moment. I suffer for the mistakes made along the way in the name of ego, pride, vanity, selfishness - those self-protective devices we all employ to some extent to stake our claims in the world. I hope to find forgiveness for the mistakes I've made, but if not, I have learned to forgive myself and move forward with optimism and positivity. There's nothing more worth claiming than the precious relationships nurtured through a lifetime of shared experiences. 

What I will do as I make my way through 2014, as Ellen Goodman suggests, is search out the potential in every symbolic room of my life. I will pick up the phone rather than text and connect, voice to voice, or preferably, face-to-face, with those cherished relationships. I will better anticipate those "unexpected" expenses and not be caught so off-guard when one arises. I will plan ahead so that I'll be able to take those trips that mean so much. I will invest in a more sophisticated camera so I can continue to capture, with even more detail, those precious moments with my grandsons and children, or a landscape along a highway, or a breaking wave, or a spontaneous moment of creativity in my kitchen.  I will look for the potential in each day, each challenge, rather than start out checking the tired, old demerit column. I will stop waiting. Waiting for the perfect moment to do whatever. Because the perfect moment may never come. I will dive in to the potential that all the moments of 2014 will provide.

These little guys know how to have fun!


Happy New Year to you all!

15 comments:

  1. Wonderful thoughts, Jeannie - challenge accepted!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Kim. I wasn't really thinking of this post as a challenge to anyone but myself, but appreciate that it inspires you! Happy, happy New year to you!

      Delete
  2. what a challenge ahead for me....thanks for the POSITIVE idea!!! CKJ

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cindy, you have such a wonderful year ahead enjoying your new grandson! Enjoy every moment of 2014!

      Delete
  3. Dear readers - if you see an objectionable ad below (I do) please know that I did not place it on this page. It's generated by Google and I have no idea how it got there or how to remove it. Just don't click on it!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Apparently it is an ad for a video game. The photo keeps changing.

      Delete
  4. Love this, Jeannie!
    Happy New Year to you and your family - wishing you a fabulous 2014!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Colleen, thank you, and Happy New Year to you and Mike in your new home!

      Delete
  5. Blessings to you and all the family! My personal goal is to not judge people until I have walked in their shoes. I remember so clearly my mom saying, "If you can't say anything nice about someone then don't say anything at all." This will be a year of self discovery of myself. My heart will be full of love for family and friends and do my best to help those that are less fortunate. I hope everyone ushers in the New Year with self-determination and a smile on their face! Wipe the slate clean and start fresh! You are your best advocate! Happy New Year Jeannie! May this year be loving and kind to you and yours! Lynnie E.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lynn, thank you for your thoughtful comment. I can't help but be reminded, though, of Olympia Dukakis's famous line in Steel Magnolias: "If you don't have anything nice to say about someone, come sit by me!" :)

      Delete
  6. Your positive attitude is truly one of your greatest gifts! I've never seen anything else. Here's to a wonderful 2014 for you...for me...and for everyone!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And a wonderful 2014 to you and your growing family, Di! What a beautiful bunch of grandchildren you have! xox

      Delete
  7. Happy New Year to you my friend. You certainly are making a good and positive start to 2014. I enjoy your postings and will look for them especially while I am away for 6 weeks -- wish you were joining us. Oh, I too received a cookbook for Christmas: Are you Hungry Tonight (you can probably guess that it contains Elvis' favorite dishes).
    Sue

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Happy New Year my BFF! I will miss you while you are away, but hopefully I'll get to join you in 2015 if I make a real effort to put those travel funds aside! Enjoy your 6 weeks in Paradise! It was great seeing you and the family (especially baby Louis!) and I hope to see you before you leave! <3

      Delete
  8. Though you may not have intended for this to be a challenge to us Jeannie, I shall gladly embrace it as such! As my journey to what's next continues, I will try harder to cross one item off of my burgeoning list before I add another, and perhaps by simplifying my to do/ bucket list, I will achieve a greater level and sense of peace and accomplishment...and hopefully sleep!

    ReplyDelete